Jennifer B.
(Alias "Time‑Tripper")

Have you ever wondered how the famous Jennifer B. gathered all that wonderful information from the past?   How she came to the conclusions she made? Well, we wondered that too and decided to do a little investigating into the doctor's past.  What we discovered will amaze you. Read on.

Wouldn't you know it, this exceptionally capable intellec­tual girl got her big boost in the highly recommended Creative Computing class taught by the Legendary Mr. Christopherson, instructor of so many of the famous people we hear of every day. That fateful day, the young Jennifer was attempting to follow the heady, complex ebb and flow of voices engaged in a detailed discussion centered around the problem of just how much time was left before the class would be over for the day. (Discussions of this deep philosophical nature were not at all uncommon and were, of course, encouraged by the Legendary Mr. Christopherson who knew that from such stuff great ideas may come.)

Like so many others in the class that day, the young Jennifer found herself glancing at the clock fairly often, thinking that time certainly had a way of creeping by rather slowly that afternoon. And like a number of others in the class that day, she found herself sliding off into a light sleep, head propped up by her right hand in a way that made her look surprisingly attentive---while around her the time discussion continued, only slightly impeded by her lack of participation.

It was then that young Jennifer had a dream that changed the entire course of her life. She awoke with a start, acutely aware of two dramatic things: first, she remembered her dream vividly, and second, she found her index finger had somehow worked its way up into her right nostril! Trying to look as though nothing was wrong, she uncorked her nose with a moderately loud popping sound, waking up half the class, and smiled innocently at the curious faces that turned in her direction. She then settled down to examine that recent dream in detail.

In the dream she was standing in a Burger King restaurant watching some people snorting and snoffing their food and drink. As she watched, a girl took a long pull on the straw imbedded in her milkshake. After the suction had built up to an acceptable level, the shake came sluggishly up the straw and into the girl's mouth. It was then it happened.

The girl began coughing and choking, spewing milk shake round about like a lawn sprinkler in July.

Back in class now, using her exceptional, inductive mind, the young Jennifer put two and two together (in this case the time discussion and the dream) and came to the instant understanding that she had just experienced an example of real time travel during which she had been allowed to see a great truth that needed to be shared with all the world. She startled the class by shouting, "You fools, don't you know better than to drink milkshakes! They are a primary cause of people having to cough!" The class sat stunned, not quite knowing what to make of this great revelation. (It should be noted that the Legendary Mr. Christopherson could be seen to nod and smile knowingly.)

After that first time, she found traveling in time, "time tripping," as she called it, came easier and easier to her. She could wink off in just a few seconds, finger up her nose (she retained this surprising element of her first trip, feeling that it was probably an indispensable part of the whole method), and awake soon after with yet another great truth from the recent past. (She never seemed to get farther back than about ten years or so, and all the scenes she witnessed seemed to involve only herself and her friends and family, however.) Soon she began instructing those around her in the methods of time tripping and had gained quite a following within a few short months, much to the dismay of backward thinking teachers who disliked facing classes full of dozing, nose‑fingered students.

Nevertheless, it was an idea whose time had come! Logging on to a few computer websites, Jennifer managed to spread the word about the value of time tripping to the whole country. By now she had formed the habit of making accurate tape critiques of each of her trips to the recent past and continued this practice right up to the present. These recollections are the basis of her best selling book, Your Nose Knows the Way. It behooves us all to get that book, allowing us to share in the thinking processes of a genius.