Matthew D.
(Alias "Bird‑Man")

It was at age 23 that Matthew D. first decided to join the world of animals. That is, he decided to dedicate his life to the advancement of all animals, especially birds. His decision was made at the urging of the Legendary Mr. Christopherson, Matt's Creative Expressions teacher.

The decision to concentrate on birds came after a few years of concentrated effort with elephants. You see, on his 23rd birthday, his girl friend gave him a 3,000 pound elephant as a present. He fell in love with this new pet immediately. The gift resulted in the world renown elephant shelter in Tacoma, Washington. Matthew traveled all around the world seeking donations to keep his shelter alive, but alas, it eventually failed two years later because of the sheer weight of the 50,000 elephants he had gathered together by then. That weight threatened to sink the entire city of Tacoma into the nearby Puget Sound.

Mr. D.'s next project was directed towards birds. He decided to try to humanize these creatures with the ultimate goal of developing a strain of birds every bit as intelligent as people. His great success began with a parrot. His rea­soning being that a parrot can talk already so it would have a head start over other less talkative birds.

But, of course, the ultimate success came five years later when "Bird‑Man" Matt realized that an owl would be even better than the parrot. He made this decision after viewing a Walt Disney movie featuring a talking owl. We are all familiar with his resulting talking owl fowl, "Ole," who has recently graduated from Princeton University.

What a testament to Matt's genius!