Talk about fancy footwork! Mr. David N. is undisputed master in the area of combining the use of the foot as a weapon in the martial arts field with the highly intricate footwork involved in the dance art form of stage and theater. Mr. N. is also justly famous for his use of animal performers in his musicals. Just last week his newest stage production, "Here's My Foot In Your Mouth," opened on Broadway to rave reviews from even the toughest of theater critics. Reviewers praised the unnaturally smooth blend of violence and gracefulness which only Mr. N. seems able to achieve.

Indeed, some of New York's most well‑known newspapers published these accounts of the musical, "Here's My Foot In Your Mouth." (The following are only excerpts from the original reviews):

• " . . . Never before in my life have I witnessed such an energetic, beautifully choreographed display of violence and blood on the stages of New York! From the very first moment the curtain went up on the open­ing act, revealing those twenty‑three chimpanzees, wearing diapers and logging boots, the dramatic level of the evening was set. As the orchestra struck up the musical number, "Primate Passion," the action began. First one, then another, chimp hauled off and kicked his/her neighbor as hard as possible. The resulting kick fest grew in ferocity as the music rose to its peak, at which time all twenty‑three dancers were kicking away at each other, knocking one another down, swinging from the curtains (although, it wasn't quite clear whether this was an intended part of the act), and generally disabling each other. Audience participation was evident as a number of chimps hopped off the stage and began kicking and generally mauling front row patrons of the arts, who in turn, caught up in the spirit of the evening, began kicking back, slugging, and clubbing with umbrellas and purses, and so forth, driving the dancers back onto the stage again . . .”
   

• " . . . I had never appreciated the viciousness with which one stork can kick another until I sat riveted to my seat last night at the premiere showing of David N.'s new musical [HMFIYM] . . ."
   

• " . . . The final act, number eight, of Mr. N.'s musical, [HMFIYM], is the culmination of the whole musical evening and features human beings as dancers. The creatures used in the preceding seven acts have been seen to kick each other silly again and again, each successive act using a group of twenty‑three larger and larger animals (act seven, for example, is a sight to behold, using kicking elephants wearing specially designed combat boots, resulting in such a severe shaking of the stage that seismographs were triggered as far away as two hundred miles), until we arrived at the final act and witnessed the most savage animals of all (as David N. seems to imply), human people. As the title theme was frantically played by the orchestra, the twenty-­three men and women mangled each other in style and grace, using every kind of kick ever devised, until there remained standing one lone survivor. At this point, a huge elephant, which had been hiding behind a stage prop, jumped out and squashed the human dancer with one stomp of its great foot. (It wasn't quite clear whether this was an intended part of the act, the significance of which this reviewer is unable to fathom, or was perhaps just one rogue elephant's way of expressing his opinion of the evening) . . .”

One extremely proud member of the first night audience at N.'s musical was the very famous and Legendary Mr. Christopherson, world class teacher, who allowed himself to be interviewed after the performance. As many will remember, David N. is a former student of this great educator and it must be assumed has been influenced greatly by him. We were delighted to be able to collect the following anecdotes about the young David as a middle school student back in the winter of 1993-4, as he worked his way through the excellent Creative Expressions class taught by You Know Who.

"Young David was always quite the musical kid, you know," began the Legendary Mr. Christopherson, "He could often be seen sitting there during class tapping his ample foot right along with the beat of the music coming from his walkman. You see, while some students chose to spend slower‑paced quality class time sleeping (or dreaming about their futures, as I used to put it, often joining them myself, slumped comfortably across my large teacher's desk), young David would slip on his head­phones and work up a sweat tapping along with the music. He sometimes became so engrossed in the music that other students would use his large tapping foot to crack walnuts and to squash assorted bugs and spiders.”

The great teacher smiled as the thoughts came rushing back, "And then, there was that other time when young David organized the entire class into a very effective student police force for the middle school. He named the group the "Kick Your Butt Squad," and it was given the responsibility for keeping the peace in those dreaded 6th grade hallways, where only the bravest of souls would take their lives in their hands to roam. I shall never forget that courageous band of singing, dancing Creative Expressions students stomping along in cadence to young David's walkman, as they kicked their way in unison from one end of that fearful hall to the other, cleaning it of all those scurrying little varmints.”

The legendary teacher then turned to leave, but stopped suddenly and swung back to favor us with one last remark, "I want you all to know that knowledge and learning is a two‑way street. Whereas young David undoubtedly has learned a great deal from me, since of course it is well known that in my younger days I was quite the dancer myself, staring in over four ­hundred successful Broadway musicals for which I also composed the memorable music, I have in fact learned several ex­tremely useful things from him."

And with that, the Legendary Mr. Christopherson, in fine emulation of his star pupil, drop‑kicked our photographer with such amazing agility and power that our man, camera in hand, flew sixty‑nine feet through the air, ending up partly embedded in the brick wall of the theater behind us. What a glorious testament to the great David N. from his legendary former teacher.